Equinox, an Alternative Ending
by poolebandgirl
Summary: For everyone who has enjoyed Equinox, this is the alternate epilogue I had planned out. In it, we see a glimpse of Grace and Jabir's new life, and meet the entire Cullen/Denali family.


Jasper squeezes my arm.

"Ready?" he whispers. Behind him Alice tuts quietly, but I ignore her. All my attention is upon controlling my breathing, reining in the fear that even now threatens to send me running for the forest. Beside us, a vase rattles on its plinth, as my over-wrought mind lets loose a tiny, involuntary _flex _like a small, mental spasm.

"Sssh," Jasper soothes, and yet another wave of calm washes over me. I force myself to relax, to let his influence work its magic on my nerves.

For the millionth time, I wonder how I allowed myself to be talked into this situation. I hate crowds. I can't cope with being in close proximity to so many vampires. But through those doors awaits the entire extended Cullen family; seventeen of us in all. And they're between me and the only one I want to be with. How on Earth have I agreed to this?

I think back to the exact moment, hunkered in the eaves of the dusty attic, folded tightly into Jabir's arms as he rocked and soothed and murmured. The problem is, I just can't say no to him.

Until that point, our integration into the Cullen family had gone well. Fears that I wouldn't settle, wouldn't be able to curb my appetite for human blood, had been unfounded. Only Jabir refused to be surprised by my success so far, his loyalty and his pride in me so obvious I would have blushed had I been capable.

Things had moved so quickly after we had taken our decision to seek out the Cullens after two years of drifting aimlessly but blissfully as if on some sort of extended honeymoon. Jabir had slowly but skilfully talked me around to his way of thinking; that a commitment like ours, to each other and to abstention from human blood, needed the support of a true family, and that there was only one vampire family who shared our commitment and could offer us that support. But finding the Cullens had not been so easy; I had lost the phone number, had failed to commit it to memory in the first place, so we had no way of contacting them. Eventually we travelled north to Denali in Alaska in the hope of finding Garrett, and in this we were finally lucky.

Soon Alice and Jasper were with us; when our eyes met, Jasper ran up the snowy driveway and scooped me into his arms, oblivious to my husband beside us. While Jabir looked on with bemusement, the former Newborn General showered me with kisses, murmuring in between how I had taken a part of Esme's heart with me when I left, and how I must promise never to leave her, or him, again.

Then Alice had thrown her arms around the astonished Jabir, her greeting almost as warm.

After a long, and frankly terrifying, car journey, we stood before our new parents, Carlisle and Esme. Their welcome was more cautious, more muted than the others' but no less sincere, and before long we really were a part of the family.

And it wasn't as hard as anybody had thought, because for me it was simple; I belonged wherever Jabir was. He was happy here with these kind, gentle people, so I was happy too.

So the flashpoint had come as a shock; it hadn't been about diet or obedience or integration, but a simple suggestion from Esme. We should have our own Cullen-style wedding, just with family members, and with Carlisle officiating as head of the family. Jabir loved the idea, keen to please as always, but I was horrified.

"No," I said firmly, my jaw set in that way that _used_ to tell Jabir I was not to be argued with. But he was the man of the partnership now, not me, so he joined with the others arguing Esme's case. They wanted a celebration to welcome us to the family (Alice's idea); they wanted to celebrate our love for each other (Esme and Jabir's brainchild). But what tipped me over the edge, what made me need to flee, was Carlisle's assertion that the "more adult" nature of our relationship would be easier for him to cope with if they could make our marriage more official. It could not be a legal marriage because of the ages on our new birth certificates, but it could be endorsed by the Cullen and Denali clans.

While he was saying all this, I thought of the forest outside, of freedom and quiet and isolation. I knew that Jabir would catch me up and follow me wherever I wished to go. But Alice pre-empted me, got to the door before me, and I found myself instead leaping the stairs and vaulting through the hatch above the landing into the attic.

I paused momentarily as I noted how different this space was to the attic at the lodge. Somebody had cleared it, laid down some basic flooring and left a rug with a couple of bean bag chairs. From the smell, I could tell this work had been very recent; only weeks ago. Certainly, on our arrival here, when I had sneaked up to check out the attic, it had not been like this. At that point I wasn't inclined to stop and wonder why this had been done; I simply threw myself onto the bean bags.

As I gasped and sobbed and fought to regain control of myself, I could hear the voices beneath me.

"Talk about déjà vu," Jasper's voice commented.

"Let me pass," Jabir stated firmly.

"Jasper?" asked Carlisle.

"She's very upset," Jasper replied cautiously. "But I don't think she'll hurt him – she's not in a violent temper."

"Of course she won't hurt me. I'm her _husband!_" And with that Jabir was there, silhouetted against the light from the opening, striding purposefully across the hardboard floor towards me.

"No wedding," I croaked.

"No wedding," he promised as he knelt beside me and gathered me up tenderly in his arms. "But please talk to me, make me understand why. Do you not wish to be married?"

"But we _are _married!" I was aghast. I knew Jabir came from a very different time to mine, but did he really not understand the scale of the insult that Carlisle's words had implied?

"Happily?" he still sounded confused.

"Blissfully. Until _now,_" I sobbed, and buried my face in his chest. At a loss, Jabir had simply held me while I tearlessly cried myself out. When at last I had control of myself, Jabir tried again.

"Grace, what could be so awful about letting Carlisle marry us again? When the love and commitment is already there?"

I paused for a long moment, to work out how to put my feelings into words. This was difficult for me, because before I met Jabir, I had never been close enough to somebody to have to voice feelings. Before Jabir there had only been the Piccolis, in an era when one simply did not discuss emotion. And before that, in my human life as a slave? I doubt I was even allowed to have feelings. But for Jabir, I had to try.

"Because that would … negate what went before," I tried. "It would mean the vows we already made to each other weren't real, weren't valid."

Jabir sat up straighter and turned my shoulders so that we were face to face.

"It wouldn't. Not to me," he insisted.

"But it would to me. I gave you my - my innocence, my virtue – that day." I paused again, embarrassed at having to discuss any kind of intimacy. Jabir waited patiently until I could continue.

"I could only do that because we had made our promises and in my heart I was married. If we allow Carlisle to take that from us, it would mean that these last couple of years, I – we – have been _living in sin!" _Those last words were a horrified whisper, and I could see Jabir quickly suppress an amused smirk.

"Sorry," he muttered, as he saw the annoyance flit across my own face. "I get it. I hadn't thought of it that way. I am sorry, really."

"I know those things aren't important these days," I began.

"But they're not _un_important," Jabir interrupted. "I do understand, I promise. And I agree with you."

"You do?"

"Yes. Those vows we made for each other _were_ real. We married in front of the only witnesses that matter; ourselves, and Allah and God. If another wedding makes those vows not real, then of course we can't agree to it. I'll go and tell Carlisle. No wedding."

"It's okay, I heard," Carlisle's voice reached us quietly from below the hatch. I had forgotten the others were down there, so intent had I been on my conversation with Jabir. "Can I come up?"

I nodded.

"Yes," Jabir replied.

In a trice the older vampire was with us, and he sat down awkwardly upon a spare bean bag, looking for all the world like a father dragged into a child's den against his will.

"I need to apologise," he said, his eyes resting first on my husband and then upon me. "I have been incredibly insensitive; and disrespectful. I'm sorry, Grace, Jabir, truly I am. When I made the suggestion, I did not mean to undermine your own marriage vows, but I see now that another wedding would be inappropriate for you. And I apologise for the offence I caused." That last was directed at me.

"Thank you," I whispered. Jabir shuffled awkwardly. Although much wronged in his short life, I doubt he had ever been the recipient of such an eloquent and sincere apology.

"I have another suggestion," Carlisle continued. "Don't answer now, take some time to think about it together. How about a simple renewal of your vows? It doesn't undo what you had before, it simply reinforces your commitment to each other, in front of friends and family. It's very popular among humans who have been married for some time, as a reaffirmation of their love. And you would make Esme so happy – she really wants to make an occasion of having two new family members."

As Carlisle retreated back through the hatch, I looked at Jabir and groaned. His eyes were lit up, hopeful.

"Don't make me," I begged, but I knew it was hopeless.

"Please, Grace, I would like this, it doesn't matter about what the others want. Please, do this for me."

"All those people," I wailed, and he wrapped his arms around me, rocking me gently.

"I'll be there, too."

"I can't." I looked up to meet his gaze, to beg him with my eyes, only to find him staring at me gravely. The intensity of his love for me was plain in his expression, and I felt my resolve begin to crumble.

"Grace," he said, firmly.

"No…" my voice was a whine, the argument already lost.

"Grace, I would be _honoured_ if you would agree to renew our vows in front of our new family." And with that, he lowered his mouth over mine.

Yes, I realise. _That _was the exact moment. Wrapped up safely in his arms, enveloped by his scent, seduced as always by his gentle voice, kind eyes, and a kiss I could feel right down to my very core. I really never stood a chance. And now here I stand, being led inexorably forward on Jasper's arm.

Alice reaches ahead of me and pushes the garden door open. Leading eastwards down the garden path towards a huge, white marquee is a green carpet of artificial turf. The flower borders to each side are teeming with snowdrops and daffodils, matching my own bouquet. My dress is not a traditional wedding gown. Alice and I had argued over that until I had run back to the attic and threatened to call the whole thing off. Instead, I have a simple, elegant dress with straps for shoulders and an a-line skirt reaching almost to my ankles. It is made of yellow satin. Only Jabir will know why I chose that colour. It'll be our little secret, my way of keeping one tiny scrap of privacy in this very public display. Our other little secret is the reasoning behind our choice of date. This isn't just a spring ceremony, with all the symbolism to do with rebirth. Today is the twenty-first of March - the Vernal Equinox.

Alice and Jasper guide me to the entrance of the marquee, where Jabir awaits. As we are already married, we have decided to walk down the aisle together – there is no need for anybody to give me away. He keeps his back to me, head bowed as if in silent prayer, until I approach. He does not turn until he feels my hand on his arm. Then he turns to look at me, and his face breaks into its most brilliant smile.

"You're beautiful," he mouths as Edward begins to play a simple baroque piece, and the audience within turn to watch us. Eyeing them all anxiously, I give an involuntary shudder. Jabir squeezes my arm.

"It's not too late to run," he whispers with a conspiratorial wink. "We can both go now, if you wish."

"Promise?"

"I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth. Scout's honour."

"You were never a boy scout!"

"Foster home number two."

I glare at him. He's teasing me, surely. But his smile is reassuring, his eyes shining.

"No, I think this time, I'll follow you," I decide.

"I love you," he whispers back, and begins to lead me down the short aisle towards where Carlisle is waiting. At the piano, I see Edward exhale, his shoulders relaxing. Is that a sigh of relief? Did he use his talent to read my thoughts and hear our little exchange?

I glance back up at Jabir and find him still gazing down at me, his eyes burning with love and pride. For him, I can do this.

As we walk slowly on, Jabir keeping time with the music, my feet keeping time with his, I allow myself a cautious sweep of the congregation.

The whole family is here; Emmett and Rosalie, who accepted us both so graciously; Esme with Bella, her enigmatic daughter Renesmee and her huge native American husband, Jake; and the Denali clan, Eleazar and Carmen, Kate and Tanya and my old friend Garrett.

The latter reaches out to squeeze my hand reassuringly as we pass, and he smiles warmly as our eyes meet. But my attention can't be drawn away from my husband for long, and as we come to a halt in front of Carlisle, my gaze finds his and holds it once more.

The music comes to an end, Alice and Jasper slip silently into the two remaining seats at the front, and Carlisle clears his throat to start.

The vows we make are a standard renewal service, but the words are not important. I realise as I stand here, my hands entwined in Jabir's, our gaze never breaking, our voices sounding quietly but clearly in response to Carlisle's words, that this is more than a celebration of mine and Jabir's unfailing love for each other. This is a welcome into a family, and as the congregation repeat together Carlisle's vow to hold us in their hearts and support us in our lives together, and Jabir and I have truly found a place to belong.

My epiphany is confirmed as the ceremony ends and everyone rises to give us a standing ovation. As Jabir and I walk hand in hand back down the aisle, I feel a whirl of sensation - I am passed from family member to family member, one warm embrace after another from the cool and cautious cheek kissing from Tanya and Kate; to the hot and somewhat acrid squeeze from Jake; the soft, warm, more fragrant handshake of the semi-Immortal Renesmee; and finally, a bone-crushing hug and embarrassingly loud kiss on the forehead from Garrett.

Jabir is also receiving his share of affection, and then we are together at the entrance of the marquee. Jabir wraps his arms around me and we gaze back at our new family.

"How do you feel?" he asks me. I hesitate.

"I feel…" Fifteen pairs of eyes stare back at us, mostly amber apart from the one pair of deep brown and one pair of darkest black. All faces are smiling and warm. They make me feel welcome, accepted, but most of all, "…loved."


End file.
